with your own penis?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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