She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
