this beer tastes like vomit already
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
