Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
