I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
