Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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