I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
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