who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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