I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
