He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
These tits shall not be calmed
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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