I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize