I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
