absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
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