How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
its not stalking. its research.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill