Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
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I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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