I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
