this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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