Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
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I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
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We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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