i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
