I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
