Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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