No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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