Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We have so much sex to catch up on
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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