chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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