The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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