how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
