i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
