There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
