You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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