Screwed.edu
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
dude. I can hear the air.
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