Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
