I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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