I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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