I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
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You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
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Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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