this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
