We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
