Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
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woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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