she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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