woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
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