Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
