They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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