I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
