Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
