Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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