every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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