Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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