I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
