I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
