we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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