All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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