There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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