the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
