This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
