guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
