i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
