high people should be assigned attendants
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
