I can't breathe out the right side of my face
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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