none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
