Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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