dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
