guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
