So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
