she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize