I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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