Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize