I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
