she looked like the before picture.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
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